the unicorn conspiracy (part 1)

Back in the day, the occasional unicorn sighting was no big deal. most people saw at least a few in the corse of their lifetime. But now, we hardley ever have the pleasure of seeing a unicorn and cancer has started to affect more people. what does cancer have to do with unicorns?
Around the start of the industrial revolution, unicorn sightings started to decease. the development of big cities replaced some of the unicorns natural habitat. Unicorn hunting became a more popular sport because now, without the dense forrests to treck through, unicorn hunting became eaisier and unicorns were highly prized for their magical horns. it is beleived that a new form of unicorn began to evolve around this time.
The new form of unicon posseses even greater powers than that of the origional unicon. This new branch was stronger, faster and... INVISIBLE?!?! It can't be true, one may think but new scientific analisis has proved that it is and not only are they invisible but they have a possible link to cancer. Certain foods and drugs that were thought to cause cancer actually don't. The reality is that these items bear a stronger attraction to unicorns and when unicorns are present, the risk of cancer spikes! How is this possible? Do unicorns really cause cancer? Coming soon: how they do it; Unicorns and how they cause this deadly disease.